I'm excited to say that I am planning a trip to Seattle WA with Ellina to do a 5k run for the Fetal Hope Fountation! I plan on taking Ellina with me and doing the stroller run.
here is a link that explains the event =)
http://www.fetalhope.org/give/events?eid=1768
I am at this point trying to raise funds to be able to go as its a 8 hour drive for me, it is something that is important to me so Im sure I will make it happen but if anyone would like to help out we added a donate button to this blog! even $1 would make a difference =-)

Now for an update on Ellina, she seems to be growing up faster and more and more every day, she jabbers like crazy and seems to think we should understand every word =-) so far I have discovered that her jumbled words do mean something but I have to listen carefully and in context, she says, "what that?"
She also has a little attatude, crazy girl, she has discovered hair pulling and hitting... yeah that is so annoying and her poor older sister =(
She is still a tiny girl but seem to be catching up to her actual age, she will be 2 on june 18th! I cant believe its been that long since I delivered her and cuddled with my baby girls Emmalin and Ellianna, miss them. Mama and Daddy miss you girls!

Well I decided its time to update. My kids keep me so busy =) Ellina has been doing great! she is walking!!!!! she is at the point of walking most times to get places unless she is in a huge hurry, I was so excited when she first started, I really thought she had a few months left to do that. The first time she walked across the room Cody and I both got teary eyed, we were just a awe of our little miracle. She never ceases to amaze us. She jabbers constantly and is finally starting to eat solids more, actually on the road to weaning... I plan on breastfeeding till shes two but am excited not to be exclusively breastfeeding, it started getting exhausting, as she was getting too old and wanted food. She still struggles to open her mouth, seems to take more concentration then for most babies but shes got it down.
On another note, the holidays are always going to be hard for us, knowing that we are missing out on 2 of our precious children. But I did much better this year then last year. I decided that for me 18 months was a good amount of time and I finally feel like I'm healing, I will say I don't believe in moving on, getting over it etc. My girls will always be my girls, but its so nice to think of them fondly without the depression and the anger. If you ever see me know this, talking about my girls doesn't upset me, it makes me happy that someone else is thinking of them. I think of them every day all day long, every time I count my kids, like a role call make sure they are ok, I feel like I'm missing someone.
Gareth, my four year old was counting how many boys and girls we have... he counted 1,2, (Eliza and Ellina) and then 3, 4, pointing up to heaven. I love it. He told me he wanted to see them and see what they looked like, I tried to tell him that they look like Ellina but he said "No, no one is the same, we are all different." He enjoyed the ultrasound pictures I have of them

A quick update on Ellina Joy! she is doing amazing! she has started to talk, saying mostly her name, when we call her she like to yell "Ellina" back, ofcourse we also found out that we cant get her to say it on cue, She will also say Eliza, (her big sisters name) it sounds simular but there is a difference. Gareth is a mix of brother and Gareth, dont know how that works lol. She wants to walk but her leg being still weaker then the other is messing with her balance, although the control of that leg is so much better then it was we are noticing that her hip on that leg doesnt have the same control. so we are deciding not to worry about it till January and then get way more aggressive with physical therapy but until then we are just letting her do her thing and try and work with her mostly at home

a quick note

I have given Ellina extra hugs and kisses and want to send a few up to heaven for Emmalin and Ellianna, I miss you my baby girls and will always love you, I believe one day Ill get to snuggle you again and it will all be ok, if I didnt I dont know where I would be.. thankyou for watching out for Ellina for me, I know you did because she want supposed to do as well as she has and is. Loves Mama

Tomorrow my babies are 1 year old from their due date. Its funny the days it hits me, I look at Ellina and I imagine 2 copies of her next to her, playing or crying and trying to get my attention with her......... And then I wonder, what are they like? are they just like Ellina? or like all my other kids are they completely different? would Ellina be different had they made it? you know how when a middle child becomes the oldest they change? would Ellina been the mellow middle baby instead of a feisty fighter? Love you my babies!!!
Ellina amazes me everyday, I thank God more and more for her surviving and allowing me to be able to take care of her, she has just done so well, 25 weekers don't do that well very often at least from all the people I know now that hve also had 25 weekers. I love my little baby and she makes me awe when I look at how far she has come, when she climbs up the stairs and screams at her sister for taking her toy. She has come so far!!!

ellina eating issues

Hi, its hard to know what to write when life is so boring, Ellina is doing great! we do have concerns about her having feeding issues, which is completely normal preemie thing we will see how it goes. I have talked to quite a few other parents and alot of preemies have to be on formula throughout their 2nd year, problem is that Ellina is exclusively breastfed no formula and so I don't know what to do, in one week Ill have been breastfeeding for 2 years straight, and some of those times 2 babies!! I don't LOVE breastfeeding but I don't mind doing what is the very best for my babies. I'm just getting tired of it, come on 2 years ;-/ I also work now and the constant stress of pumping or Oh no I didn't pump I might loose my milk. Is just getting tiring too. I need a little bit of a break. Anyway, Ellina refuses to eat anything off a spoon, she will eat finger foods but is very picky about what! I gave her applesauce and she played in it, but clamped her mouth shut, I put spaghetti on her same plate and she stuffed it in her mouth! I don't get this kid, I don't know what she can eat and what she shouldn't be eating but I think she wants flavor and stuff she cant really eat at times.
Oh andlastly, I pulled a half eaten bug out of her mouth, she fought me and was very mad that I took that great bug from her

Just wanted to share... Ellina Joy is doing so amazing! she is crawling, standing and cruising along the furniture! I saw my home visitor for the child development center and she said that most likely next time they screen her she most likely wont be eligible for the services. which is great thing meaning that she is almost all caught up! I'm extremely happy about this. One of my other worries is her eating solids. Now I think its just a matter of time till she will be eating them no problem I think the biggest problem we have now is she wants stuff with FLAVOR! she loves tasting everything but still gags really easy on stuff but if its baby food she doesn't like to eat it I think just cause she thinks it tastes bad poor baby Ill have to research of what foods she should be able t eat. she loves re fried beans just don't know how well her stomach will handle that