Sunday, June 27, 2010

Oh and Ellina is back to her birth weight! yey!


yesterday the doctor asked if she could meet with both Cody and I; She started out just talking about how well Ellina is doing, for her age to be on a nasal cannula is amazing, no worries when it comes to breathing. But... yes we were just waiting for it. Ellinas heart, remember how Emmalin, baby A had a thickened outer edge on her heart? it made sense with the TTTS that it had been over worked, when Ellina had it that is what they thought also that it put stress on her when her sisters were lost. But now they are wondering, because they would have thought it would be gone by now or at least improved, it hasn't. Although the doctor is still saying it could be fine its something they want to watch very carefully. Because it could be something else like a congenital condition. No it isn't even close to for sure but if that is what it is it is bad. she said she would need a heart transplant and is not eligible for that for months. I am of course hoping and praying that is is just from the stress she was under being something that just needs time to resolve but as I keep saying now...let the worries begin.. again. I know Ellina is a fighter and that is where I get my hope that she will fight this too even if it is big

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

8 am- time to touch

A Preemie can only be touched a few times a day. They need their life to be as much like the womb as possible. So they are kept in a covered isolate. The nurses try to keep their touching to 3 times a day. So this morning at 8 am is the 1st time of the day they will change diapers, and do their routine. I got up and rushed over so I could be involved.
She was awake and looking at me. I could hold her tiny, tiny little hand. At one point the nurse needed to change the bedding, so I picked her up so she could change it. She didn't feel like anything. She only weighs 1 lb 4 oz today. I think most books weigh more then that!
Mishael was able to hold her yesterday for the 1st time. She put her down her shirt and held her for 3 hours, kangaroo style. Mishael said her body heated up and the baby stayed nice and warm. So hopefully that will be a daily thing she can do.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Birth from Grandma Joyce's view

You can see how tiny her hand is in this one.
She weighed 1 lb 6 oz at birth and has dropped to 1 lb 4 oz, but is coming back up now.

Mishael had been feeling early labor for a few days. It's hard to know when labor like that will turn into the real thing. The Doctor had said if she started labor they would not stop it.
On Thursday she was having some good contractions, but we asked the nurse to check the monitor to see if there was any regularity to them ( they are computerized here and can look back at all FHT's and ctx. any time) She said she had 17 ctx in the last 14 hours. Well, that's not as much as we thought, so we will wait and see.
I went back over to the Ronald Mc Donald house and ate some dinner, and Mishael called and said, I had another ctx. It was hard. Ok, I said, call me as soon as you have another one. I took a walk and she called again about 30 min later.
So I was getting ready to go back over when she called again and said are you coming? I rushed over to find her in the delivery room. The Dr had checked her and she was dialated only 2-3, but the bad of waters was funneling out of the cervix. This made her fluid level even lower then the already low figures of 4-5. But the Lord was keeping our little girl, as all throughout labor she never had any decels. They put Shell in a position with her head down, hoping for the fluid to go back in and with the remote hope that if the fluid did go back in the cervix that labor might possibly stop. With this hope still in mind of her labor stopping, it made coaching a little difficult. Besides for Mishael who is used to laboring being in any position she wants, in and out of water, very natural, etc. to laying in bed, tilted backwards, with IV, O2 monitor, baby and ctx. monitor, catheter, etc. it was different to say the least. We weren't sure to work with labor to get this done or try to stop it. It's a weird mind trip. Martha, Maria and Moriah were on their way, but still not there. Cody was not back yet, and knowing Mishael would only be holding one baby out of 3 made this was the hardest emotional birth. Mishael and I did a lot of crying during the labor. The nurse left us alone until I called her when Shell was feeling pushy after only 3 hours after her last call to me.
When the nurse picked up the sheet to check her we saw this horrible black fluid. It was not thick, but it was black and very weird. At the same time we had lost FHT's.
Mishael's pulse was 120 which made it very difficult to tell if we were getting mom's or baby's heart. Baby was 120 or was that mom? No one could tell. So they had a nurse come in with a doppler, she thought she got baby, but mom was 120 and baby 121??? We were doubtful. So she brought in an Ultrasound machine (waiting for Dr still, breathing through ctx, grandma thinking, lets stop looking for heart tones and push this baby out) They found the baby's heart on the Ultra sound machine and the nurse didn't want to say it out loud, so she pointed to the heart, It was not beating at all. She would look around again and come back to the same place. Point again at the heart. It was not beating at all! Mishael and I prayed, Oh Lord please don't let her loose this one too. Please Lord........
The nurse said to everyone (probably about 8 nurses in the room) "are you all agreed, we should just get this baby delivered?" Every one said yes, and I also said a loud yes.
So next ctx, Mishael pushed, when the ctx was over, we said keep pushing and she did. Our little Ellina was born and quickly handed to the NICU nurse (neither Dr was there still, the baby's Dr. heard that she was having a C section and ended up in the wrong spot in the hospital) The nurses were excellent. I was so impressed with their team work, know how and confidence. Everyone in the room thought we were delivering a baby that would need to be resuscitated or wouldn't make it, but before she was on the warmer table we heard a little noise, and the nurse said "she's respirating". Oh the relief and the tears. God breathed breath into our little sweet heart. Thank you Lord!
They immediately started working on Ellina and took her to the NICU. Mishael had to go back to the focus of delivering Ellianna and Emmalin. The Dr was there now and when Mishael said that she felt like pushing the Dr said "I trust your instincts". I wonder if he realized they should have listened to her earlier, LOL. The girls were delivered quickly. Both were born in their bag and it had to be broken. Their fluid was also black. 2 beautiful little girls. Since Ellina was in the NICU, Mishael and I enjoyed touching, holding our little angels.
Such a mixed, emotional, bitter sweet time.
Looking at the placenta and the very tiny fragile cords, it's a wonder that Ellina made it. She's a little fighter. The first time I went in to see her, she was waving her arms pushing off the Saran wrap ( they use saran wrap to keep the baby's warm). She would cry when someone would bug her. The Dr told me later that it usually is 2-3 weeks before they start crying like this.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I know most everyone has seen the update that I had the babies last night, Baby Ellina Joy is our little surviver and is doing great so far, she is 1lb 6 oz and 13 1/2 inches she is breathing on her own! I actually went into labor and was allowed to have them naturally, something I am very thankful for. right before I started pushing we lost Ellina's heartbeat, the doctors werent there yet but the nurses agreed that I just needed to get pushing. I had her and she didnt look alive... it was scary I kept saying "I cant loose her too." But almost right away she took a breath all on her own! she even cried a little.
Cody will be home for good flying in tonite. Its going to be alot of descisions and its bittersweet, I will forever miss my 2 little girls Emmalin Mercy and Ellianna Hope. But I will thank God that He has given me Ellina. When Cody gets here tonite we will try to get some memories with both our angels Im not sure what we can hadle with holding them but I know we need to try. Thankyou everyone for your parayers and please keep praying for Ellina, that she will keep thriving and doing better everyday, a

Welcome to the world Ellina

Ellina Joy Jelley was born last night at 1:30 am. She was delivered naturally, for which Mishael is very thankful for. She didn't want a C-section. Ellina is 1 lb 6 oz and is in the NICU. She is breathing with only the help of a CPAP although she may have to be intubated later. She is the smallest thing I've ever seen in the my life. The Dr says she is doing really well. We will try to get some pictures up soon. Cody had to go back to finish his training and is supposed to fly back into Kalispell tonight. Mishael was able to hold Ellianna also and she's even tinier. Her head is about the size of a hard boiled egg, she's about the size of a barbie doll. She was not able to hold Emmalin but the nurse attempted to get footprints and handprints so at least she'll have those.
Mishael is doing really well. We are staying at the Ronald McDonald house. The nurses and doctors are amazing. Looks like we'll all be in Missoula for a long time...
Thanks to everyone for all the encouraging thoughts, comments and prayers.

UPDate Ellina is doing really well. She even sucked some breast milk off a q-tip and they will give her some in her feeding tube every 12 hours. She is getting another chest xray and a scan of her brain to check for bleeds but everyone is very encouraged with how well she is doing. She tries to cry but its sounds like a little mouse squeak. She grips Mishael's hand with her tiny little fingers.

Her diaper is too big for her and its the same size as a cell phone!

Footprints of all the babies.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

We have names!

So we have names for the babies!
Emmalin Mercy is baby A; Ellianna Hope is baby C, and Ellina Joy is baby B.

Ellina is doing really good today. Her bio-physical profile came back technically at 6 out of 8, but the 2 points off was because of the low fluid. (5.2) Then the Dr actually found another pocket of fluid, so she actually had 8/8. It was nice to hear the Dr say "another good day". Today is 25 wks 1 day. They say each day is one week out of the NICU.
We are getting less decels with contractions now, but she did have one big long one last night.
The Dr says if we are getting those on a consistent basis we will deliver, but right now Ellina is better off inside then out.
Mishael does have contractions. Some are pretty good in strength. If labor begins, they will not stop it. If she goes into labor naturally, she actually could have a normal delivery, if Ellina's heart can handle contractions. We are pretty excited over the small chance.
We took a tour through the NICU today and saw the tinest babies. One was born at 13 oz! It's amazing. I was encouraged at how well those tiny, tiny babies do. Ellina already has an estimated weight of 1 lb 6 oz. So she will be plenty big. :)
Mishael is doing ok. Stressed, watching monitors, sad......I'm sure you can imagine. Over all she is amazing.
Cody should be flying back in tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


I just got back from spending a couple days with Mishael. She is waiting and praying that little tiny baby B can continue to hold her own every day. Today she is 25 weeks old and although her fluid levels are low, continues to kick and move very well and passed her bio-physical today.
She scared us on Monday and it almost like we were going to meet her in person, but she decided she needed to try to wait for her daddy....we are hoping.
Mishael is having some mild contractions as well that causing some discomfort as well as having to lay in bed except for very brief moments, is hard, as you are just waiting and watching it seems, expecting something to happen each minute.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Dresses for the babies made by Sarah Johnson

Sarah is my ex-husband's sister but we have been adopted to eachother and are actually family now! Sarah sewed all these beautiful dresses for the babies.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Update from afar

I just took these pictures last week.

I'm over in Great Falls having a horrible time not being with Mishael. It goes against a mothers heart. Thankfully we have a big family and there are plenty of supportive people to take turns.
The news I heard this morning, is Baby B is doing a little better or at least not getting any worse. We have now hit the 48 hour mark which was very important. The Dr is saying it's very possible for our little sweet baby B to hang in there a few days or even weeks. Every day inside makes a huge difference of how well she will do when she is born. 24 weeks is very early, but every day the chances of her making it go up. They said she is doing so good that they might be able to let Mishael get off the monitors for a couple hours at a time. This would be good for Mishael to be able to get up and around a little.
Lots of hard decisions have to be made, so praying for wisdom and peace through all this.
They were able to get the family a room at Ronald McDonald house, which I hear is very nice.
Every one is taking turns being down there with them and watching children. Cody can stay at the hospital with Mishael. So glad Cody can be with her again.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Cody is here!

Mishael is smiling again!

the next day

Last night was rough. mishael's O2 levels continued to drop throughout the night. Baby was doing a little better but I was just really concerned about Mishael and knew something was really wrong. The dr just kept saying he wanted to wait. They kept doing tests but when her 02 would't stay up on 100% 02 mask she called Dr Utter. He came in at 4am and they did a CT scan to check for blood clots and shut off the Mg gtt. All her tests looked negative and by morning her 02 was better and she is mostly off the 02. They did another Ultrasound this am and no changes with baby B. She is still not doing good but at this point its better to keep her inside as long as Mishael is stable. Cody is arriving today at 1pm. Mishael is holding up well, she said shes waiting until Cody is here to fall apart. I went to the store and bought some blankets for the girls i wanted them to have something when they are born. Sarah is going to sew them some outfits to wear when they are born.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

sad news

Today I traveled to Missoula to b with Mishael for her ultrasound at 24 weeks. Mishael kept saying she was worried something was wrong but we just blew it off as Mishael being a worry-wart. We arrived at the office and Mishael said she didn't want everyone in there until she knew everything was ok so only Gina and I were in the room. Mishael has gotten quite experienced with ultrasounds and said she immediately saw there was no heartbeat for baby A then no heartbeat for baby c. baby b has a heartbeat...the US tech confirmed what we saw and immedialy got Dr Utter to come in. they arent sure what caused the deaths but they suspect twin-to-twin tranfusion. baby c has alot of fluid and A and B hardly any. They admitted Mishael to the hospital and had the neonatologist come talk about the risks of a baby being born at 24 wks. im writing this from my phone so its hard to type. They are giving her medications to help the baby's lungs develop and prevent brain anuerysms. they are monitoring the baby closely. she's not doing great but its a balancing act deciding when its better for hero be born or stay inside. At this point they are hoping for 2days at leas they may take the baby c-section. However, the chance of her doing well are not very good either way. The next problem is mishael developed some breathing problems and we're concerned about that. i have to go to sleep and can't type anymore on my phon eanymore. hopefully cody can fly home tomorrow. goodnite

Tuesday, June 1, 2010