Well I decided its time to update. My kids keep me so busy =) Ellina has been doing great! she is walking!!!!! she is at the point of walking most times to get places unless she is in a huge hurry, I was so excited when she first started, I really thought she had a few months left to do that. The first time she walked across the room Cody and I both got teary eyed, we were just a awe of our little miracle. She never ceases to amaze us. She jabbers constantly and is finally starting to eat solids more, actually on the road to weaning... I plan on breastfeeding till shes two but am excited not to be exclusively breastfeeding, it started getting exhausting, as she was getting too old and wanted food. She still struggles to open her mouth, seems to take more concentration then for most babies but shes got it down.
On another note, the holidays are always going to be hard for us, knowing that we are missing out on 2 of our precious children. But I did much better this year then last year. I decided that for me 18 months was a good amount of time and I finally feel like I'm healing, I will say I don't believe in moving on, getting over it etc. My girls will always be my girls, but its so nice to think of them fondly without the depression and the anger. If you ever see me know this, talking about my girls doesn't upset me, it makes me happy that someone else is thinking of them. I think of them every day all day long, every time I count my kids, like a role call make sure they are ok, I feel like I'm missing someone.
Gareth, my four year old was counting how many boys and girls we have... he counted 1,2, (Eliza and Ellina) and then 3, 4, pointing up to heaven. I love it. He told me he wanted to see them and see what they looked like, I tried to tell him that they look like Ellina but he said "No, no one is the same, we are all different." He enjoyed the ultrasound pictures I have of them