Monday, August 9, 2010

Wow I just realin too long since I've said Ellinas weight, she is at 2 lbs 15oz. So one more ounce and she will be 3 lbs! shes been gaining very well. On Wed she will be at 33 weeks. Im exited cause at 34 weeks she can attempt to breastfeed, yey! Im trying not to get my hopes up but maybe she will do great, keep gaining weight and get to go home sooner. But I keep thinking that we will have to have some type of step back at some point. One of the babies in the NICU didnt make it, they said she never had strong lungs. Her mom was the only one I have gotten to know somewhat I wrote her a card and the hospital said they ould pass it on to her, its kinda made me revert to the mad stage again in the greiving process. Nothing is fair right, me and her we wanted our babies so bad and we fought hard. It makes me feel very helpless, it doesnt matter what we do how hard we pray what God wants to happen, happens I guess I need to learn to trust that God will help me through the hard times and yes that Hes taking perfect care of my little girls in heaven. I was listening to the Stephen Curtis Chapman song Heaven is the face.....So I thought I would try and put it on here cause it does state alot of my feelings. Anyway I sometimes feel bad for bringing people down, and keep being so centered on myself. So just so I dont bring everyone down, our pain isnt our only focus here. Many nurses and the Doctors agree that the reason the Ellina is such a great fighter is because of what she has gone through She is a very stroong baby. Ok so I have to get going to the NICU now.
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6 comments:

  1. That is such a great song! I cannot believe she is almost 3 lbs! It seems so big sounding to me!

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  2. We have been praying for your sweet baby! Her face is so precious! So excited for you to be able to nurse her :)

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  3. It is so good to hear that she is doing well and gaining weight! I am so happy for you and your family. And I can only imagine how hard it must be to get through these days. I have been praying for you and Ellina that God would be w/ you and strengthen you through this time. Praying that you would feel those of us who support you in our prayers and thoughts as well as those who are able to be physically there for your needs. You and Ellina are much loved.

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  4. Way to grow Ellina! And way cope Mommy! You are doing great. There will always be setbacks and sadness...it comes with the territory. Your faith is amazing!
    Admittedly I haven't listened to the song yet... I will later when my kids are quiet!
    I wanted to share another Stephen Curtis Chapman with you....With Hope. It is a song I have on my blog and it has brought me....Hope. It's about saying goodbye and it made me feel better about losing Cole and about Cameron growing up without his twin here beside him. Maybe it will bring you some peace too.

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  5. Your doing great. I felt the same way about talking about my son who passed, My blog was a great way for me to let out my feelings about what happened to my triplets. I pray she continues to thrive. Just wait in no time she will be home. The NICU was such a big part of my life for over 6 months, I actually had a hard time not calling all the time and driving there. I hope you are having a wonderful experience with your nurses now.

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  6. She sounds like she's doing wonderfully! Continued prayers for you all, and especially that she picks up breastfeeding right away for you and continues to do so well.

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