Wow I just realin too long since I've said Ellinas weight, she is at 2 lbs 15oz. So one more ounce and she will be 3 lbs! shes been gaining very well. On Wed she will be at 33 weeks. Im exited cause at 34 weeks she can attempt to breastfeed, yey! Im trying not to get my hopes up but maybe she will do great, keep gaining weight and get to go home sooner. But I keep thinking that we will have to have some type of step back at some point. One of the babies in the NICU didnt make it, they said she never had strong lungs. Her mom was the only one I have gotten to know somewhat I wrote her a card and the hospital said they ould pass it on to her, its kinda made me revert to the mad stage again in the greiving process. Nothing is fair right, me and her we wanted our babies so bad and we fought hard. It makes me feel very helpless, it doesnt matter what we do how hard we pray what God wants to happen, happens I guess I need to learn to trust that God will help me through the hard times and yes that Hes taking perfect care of my little girls in heaven. I was listening to the Stephen Curtis Chapman song Heaven is the face.....So I thought I would try and put it on here cause it does state alot of my feelings. Anyway I sometimes feel bad for bringing people down, and keep being so centered on myself. So just so I dont bring everyone down, our pain isnt our only focus here. Many nurses and the Doctors agree that the reason the Ellina is such a great fighter is because of what she has gone through She is a very stroong baby. Ok so I have to get going to the NICU now.