Ellina had her eye apt today, and it was good news her eyes had a little bit of improvement, they aren't developed yet and when I asked when he thought they would be, he said that hers are developing slower then most babies but since they are going in the right direction he is happy. So it was good to get a little good news.
Today was the triplets due date, for some reason I thought it was going to be a harder day, honestly I have roller coaster feelings and today was like ever other day, it just depends on the time. I told someone that Ellina was full term and she said" you could be in labor right now, but you probably wouldn't like that." She didn't know about the triplets and I let it go. But I just keep thinking, what I did when I started having problems, Why would God I've me 3 babies at once just to take 2? So the question now is, would I be better off if I was just having one baby? I would probably still be pregnant right now and not feel this void, Id be all happy with just 3 kids and not know I'm supposed to be raising 5. weird does that make any sense? I'm thankful that God gave me my girls, all of them I really only wish I could raise them all. When Ellina keeps me up at night I just find myself wishing I could have the challenge of no sleep because there are 3 babies instead of just one I would totally take the no sleep, running around going from 2 kids to 5 Id go crazy because going from2-3 is hard they all want my attention and putting 2 on hold is hard but I want the challenge. I don't think I will ever know why but Ill always ask God why?