Monday, September 13, 2010

Hi, So allot has happened but so much that Ive been too busy to update. over the last few weeks we tried exclusively breastfeeding Ellina and she seemed to be doing well. Still gained every night only we began to notice she was gaining less and less, everything else was good and I was really just ready to bring her home. there was no doubt that she needed to go home on oxygen so they put her on the amount she would be on at home and took off her o2 sat monitor and had me just watch her color, I liked it cause it gave me the confidence that I could handle having her home. Anyway they decided to have me put her on some breast milk fortifier twice a day so still having to pump=/ but hey They let me bring her home! Its so nice to be home and actually be able to function semi normally. Now my constant worry is that she is going to get sick. My older daughter Eliza has a cold so I just try and keep Ellina away from all the kids. Its hard because I miss all my friends and most of them have kids, I hate leaving Ellina and I'm not supposed to bring her anywhere, even church. and here I was looking forward to being able to go back to my own church. Anyway its still so great having her home, I love to cuddle and nurse her anytime I want to. She is such a sweetie and I could stare at her for hours, I'm so thankful to have her and I just remind myself on the fact that her sisters look just like her up in heaven. My brother and I were discussing if they were grown up or still little babies. When I get to heaven will I be able to see them grow up again? I wish I could watch them get bigger. Im thankful that I can look at my little Ellina and know what her sisters look like and that I can shower her with 3 times the love


  1. These are the exact questions my kids ask me about Cole...and admittedly I ask myself too. No one seems to be able to answer me but my most spiritual friends tell me that it is what is truly in our hearts, what we truly believe is right for us in Heaven...if that means that we get to raise them from babies once we get there than that is what it will be. She also said that it doesn't matter...we will know as soon as we see our angels that they are ours and we are theirs.
    My kids tell me that we'll always know because Cole looks just like Cameron...always and forever.
    Happy to hear you are all home safe and sound....congrats!!!

  2. I am so so so happy that she is home!!! Church is such a germy place, LOL! In our faith we believe that our spirits are already fully grown before we come to earth, that we choose to come to earth to receive bodies and to learn and grow to become more like our Heavenly Father. We believe that some spirits are so faithful and pure that they only need to come and get their body and then they return home. We believe that when we die, even in infancy, our spirits are free again, fully grown. Sometimes I feel Dex's wise and noble influence in my life.

    BUT BUT BUT, we also believe that in the future when children are resurrected, their spirits will once again be joined with their body at the age they left it, however tiny it may have been, and that we will be privileged to raise them to adulthood in the next life if we did not have the opportunity in mortal life. I anxiously look forward to that day, when I can hold my baby again and love and snuggle on him all that he deserves, never to be parted again. Only this time his little body will be perfect and strong. Crew has had his special cuddle time with Mommy and Dex will have his.

    Hugs to you and your beautiful family.