Saturday, September 18, 2010
So I have alot to update again, I have alot of thoughts but starting with Ellina, She went home was there for a week and then started acting sick, they were small signs but my other daughter Eliza had a cold so I was really watching for signs at the same time as trying to keep them apart. Finally I decided to take her in to the emergancy room cause she was starting to labor when breathing. After sitting in an exam room for hours at 3 in the morning they admitted her into the hospital and then transported us to Kalispell the next morning. Normally they would put a baby back in the NICU thats been to the outside world but the ped. referred her, Im guessing he didnt feel comfortable with a 38 weeker. at first the doc was sure Ellina had pneumonia but now looking at all her other exrays she isnt positive either way its viral and so her oxygen needs were higher and since she was already low on red blood cells it made it harder for her to fight. The last few days Ellina has been on anibiotics and finally yesterday had a blood transfusion. They took out her IV and all she want to day today is be held and cuddled. My feelings....? Its been very hard to be able to hve my baby home and then not only have her in intensive care but by a new nicu that sadly Ive had a really hard time with. I loved the open communication I had with my nurses in missoula and I felt very out of the loop here. When we got here they took an hour and a half to put an IV in. And she was hungry and they wanted to get in in first. Im trying to expept that its ok but its just emotional Im really not bashing anyone as far as an IV being hard to get in. They tell me I cant have her in the rm with me cause she needs to be watched carefully but my nurse one night sat in the other room on the computer and didnt even her her crying. (ok that was a bash) Finally I am doing better I let the doc know that my emotions are clouding my judgment so I need her to make the descions on how to treat Ellina etc. thats kinda hard cause I really dont agree with everything she does but I really want whats best for Ellina. Anyway wwe will probably be here at least over the weekend. Because Elina got sick it set her back enough that she may need an eye surgery and her heart also is having trouble there has always been a possibility that she would need surgery on her heart and now we are waiting till mon to see if its any better. Other then all of this with Ellina we are doing ok. We still are planning on doing a momorial service for Emmalin and Ellianna, I feel bad that we keep putting it off but at the same time we just havent had the time and although we really want to have one its something thats hard to do. I was singing to Ellina yesterday and thought that my Grandma Mary is probably holding my girls and singing to them too, she loved to do that with all babies. My newest thought is that if my twin that my mom lost early on in her pregnnacy with me was from ttts then she would be identical to me ...Shes probably making sure my grandma has help with them too.